Many thanks to everyone for participating, trying to participate, or letting the stellar Yahoo AI autodraft you to SPFL glory in 2023. I’m sure most of you have already checked your Yahoo “grade” after the draft and for the first time in recent memory, the Greased Lightning crew did not find itself near the top of the heap, perhaps due to smoking that second round, #13 overall, pick on Mark Andrews. But hopefully that’s not the reason as Ye Old Commish’s QB1 will be the one tossing the rock to Andrews !
Instead, Yahoo judged the Thunder Monkeys and our defending champ, the Turf Turtles, worthy of perfect A+ draft grades! And our rookie owner and her newly named team, Beauty and the Beasts, was given an outstanding A-. For what it’s worth, the Moops got a C+ and “drafted their way to mediocrity”.
Well.
Color me with hurt feelings.
At the other end of the spectrum, the Bitter Midgets and Yesterday’s Corn, both former champions along the way, were given D- grades. I’m sure they, too, are devastated and worried.
As we all know, those grades fade fast once the real action begins, which will be exactly one week from tomorrow as I type this (Yessssss!) and real Ws and Ls begin accumulating. Here’s to no preseason injuries and good lineup choices for week one. for all of us!
Don’t forget your league dues, $50, payable via Paypal, Venmo, Zelle, or US Postal Service. So far, I have four paid — Britney, Shane, Amber, Demurris, and have had a couple touch base with “it’s on the way”. The rest of you — let’s shoot for paying up before the leaves start changing this season! Thanks.
And as I promised, I am going to share my rock solid NFL predictions for you to consider. Being on short term medical leave, I’ve had hours and hours to peruse and model these outcomes, so feel free to use them to make some bank on FanDuel’s Sportsbook. LOL.
In the AFC, I see the playoff seedings like this:
- Jacksonville Jaguars (mostly based on being a good, young team in a terrible division)
- Kansas City Chiefs
- Cincinnati Bengals
- Buffalo Bills
- Baltimore Ravens (Lamar got paid, baby!)
- NY Jets (how can a team go from lovable losers to gag worthy? One man.)
- Miami Dolphins
- Just missing out: Pittsburgh Steelers and LA Chargers
In the NFC, playoff seedings are like this:
- San Francisco 49ers (again, weak division = homefield advantage)
- Detroit Lions
- Dallas Cowboys
- Atlanta Falcons (sub .500 division winner maybe?)
- Philadelphia Eagles
- Seattle Seahawks
- Green Bay Packers
- Just missing out: Minnesota Vikings and NY Giants
In the AFC playoffs round one, the Chiefs cruise past the Dolphins, the Bengals take down the Jets, and the Bills clear the Ravens. In the divisional round, the experienced Bengals take out the one seed and move on to the AFC Championship. Meanwhile, the Bills finally get past the Kansas City roadblock, setting up what should have been last year’s AFC Championship game with the Bengals. In Cincinnati, Joe Cool clinches his second Super Bowl berth where he awaits the NFC champ.
In the NFC opening round, the Lions take out some decades long revenge on the Pack, the Cowboys win over the Seahawks, and the Eagles take down the fraudulent Falcons. In the divisional round, the Eagles take out the other one seed, continuing the Kyle Shanahan disappointment tour, while the Cowboys win over the upstart Lions. Now, before you snicker and accuse me of being a fanboy, anyone who knows me, knows that I never have expectations of the Cowboys and I don’t think I’ve predicted good things from them since the mid 90s, so take this as you may… but in the NFC Championship, I see Dallas finally getting over the hump, taking advantage of the Eagles having two new coordinators, sprinkle in a little regression from Hurts and a little bit of that curse of the “superteam”, and Jerry finally is returning to the big game.
However, in the Super Bowl, I see the far superior quarterback piloting the Cincinnati Bengals to their first ever Super Bowl win over the Dallas Cowpokes.
And as I type that, I’m not sure what would be more painful, another Cowboys dumpster fire of a season OR coming that close to another ring and my first ever tattoo. As a Cowboys fan, I’m accustomed to nearly thirty years of pain. Thank goodness I have the Mighty Moops to ease my pain.
What do you think? Agree/disagree? How many playoff teams did I even get right? It’s a great time of year, ain’t it?
I’ll see you all online.
The Commish