Is This Real Life?

Posted on by Commish

In the words of Jim Halpert, “What is going on???” And, no, I’m not talking about the SPFL, I’m talking about the NFL. Can anyone honestly figure it out? It couldn’t be scripted, it makes no sense. If it weren’t for the Chiefs being 3-0, thanks to some officiating help, and well on their way to another Super Bowl, I’d be completely flummoxed. Well, and if the Cowboys weren’t a Thursday night steamer from blowing up the whole franchise … ah, maybe it’s not so unusual after all.

In the SPFL, we have two remaining unbeatens, the Greased Lightning and Beauty and the Beasts, both atop their respective divisions after critical week three victories.

In the Tommy Boy Division, three 2-1 squads (the Moops, Auto Picks, and Midgets) trail the Lightning by a game, while two hard luck, winless squads (the Thunder Monkeys and the Piranha Brothers) bring up the rear. In the Matt Foley Division, the Bright 1s and Yesterday’s Corn are both 2-1, a game behind Beauty, while the Heroes and Megatron are both 1-2 and lingering. A frequent slow starter, the Turf Turtles languish at 0-3.

Moops 189 — Monkeys 139: The Moops finally found their mojo, thanks to Kyren Williams (34) and JaMarr Chase (31), while the Monkeys were unfortunate losers, posting a score that would have beaten all teams in the league except two. Dak Prescott Oscar the Grouched his way to 30 points and Diontae Johnson (26) has found a red head that he loves.

Beauty 141 – Bright 1s 128: This was a real slobberknocker that may turn out to be a critical outcome when the end of the regular season rolls around. Both unbeaten heading in, the Beasts picked up a big division win, thanks to Joe Burrow (27) and Chris Olave (20), while the 1s had Lamar Jackson (27) feasting on the Dallas “d”, while Alvin Kamara (18) wishes he’d played the Dallas “d” again this week.

My proudest fantasy decision this year: “reaching” to pick Brandon Aubrey in all four of my other leagues that require a kicker.

Lightning 125 — Midgets 124: What a barnburner we had here. The Lightning just squeaked by the Midgets, with David Montgomery (23) and Aaron Rodgers (21) leading the barrage. The Midgets were led by Aaron Jones (27) and Amon Ra St Brown (20). Obviously, several different lineup decisions could have altered this for the bitter ones, but nothing that sticks out as egregious to me.

Megatron 126 — Heroes 112: Megatron picked up his first W of the year, led by Jonathan Taylor (28) and Cole Kmet (25) while the Heroes fell despite Josh Allen’s 31 points and Devin Singletary chipping in with 21.

Piranha Brothers GM Looking at Rhamondre Stevenson in Their Lineup

Auto Picks 137 — Brothers 98: The Auto Picks cruised thanks to Saquon Barkley’s 37 points (think he might go 1.1 if we were drafting today??) and DK Metcalf’s 22. The Brothers had a masterful 29 points from the Jets D and a young OBJ-like 28 from Malik Nabers, but were hamstrung by 5 combined points by two preseason TE A-listers (Mark Andrews and Sam LaPorta), Rhamondre Stevenson’s uncharacteristic 1 point, and Derek Carr’s 9 points.

Corn 93 — Turtles 70: And in the game that no one but family watched, the Corn eased to victory with 93 points which would have beaten exactly … one team this week, their opponent, the Turtles. Amari Cooper (27) and Kyler Murray (16) were leading kernels, while the Turtles had only two double figure scorers, Derrick Henry with a beautiful 32 points … and CJ Stroud with an ugly 12.

Next Week:

  • Moops @ Turtles
  • Beauty @ Midgets
  • Megatron @ Lightning
  • Heroes @ Monkeys
  • Auto Picks @ Corn
  • 1s @ Brothers

It’s about time to do another Binge Watching Mt Rushmore article — finally got around to watching Breaking Bad since last season … PHENOMENAL. Can’t believe it took us so long to do it…

Remember, don’t get TOO caught up in the Ws/Ls, but do make sure you pile up the points, those last two wild card spots rely only on points, not Ws!

Best of luck, enjoy the games, and I hope everyone is able to stay sorta dry in this monsoon season upon us.

 

I can’t believe this. I feel like I drafted Chad Pennington about three seasons ago…

The Commish