As I said last week, Mrs. Commish and I were out of town for the weekend. My football watching was limited to what my bad eyes could see on an iPad as our room at the inn where we were staying was not adorned with a television. So, on Thursday night, on a 9″ screen, I saw the gauntlet catch up with the Cowboys, who were outclassed and outcoached by a superior opponent. But, that’s okay. I always temper my Cowboy expectations. Plus, I had the ACC Championship Game to look forward on same said screen on Saturday night, when the Cavaliers would clinch their spot in the NCAA Playoffs, where they would be outclassed and outcoached by a superior opponent. But at least I’d have an ACC Title to enjoy.
Record scratch. Should have at least Miami being the ones beating up on them…
That’s okay, at least I made it back home Monday in time to watch the Eagles gag one up against one of the worst offensive performances I’ve ever seen, on my 4k 70″ screen.
Ah, hope remains faintly flickering.
Where were we over the weekend? One of my favorite places — Gettysburg, PA, which was hosting their annual Christmas Festival. It had all the vibes of one of those treacly Hallmark Movie small towns. It was great. 20+ ice sculptures displayed on the streets. Live reindeer. Actual chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Food trucks galore. Music. Tubas.
And we stayed in the Cashtown Inn, which was almost a bucket list like stay for a guy like ye old commish. Old inn built in the late 1700s, with original floors still intact. Colorful history, including time as a biker bar and a honky tonk that Hank Williams, Sr., once played in. Fine dining, including a warm water lobster tail with Tahitian Vanilla Butter Sauce. Whatever it was, it was scrumptious. General A.P. Hill spent the night here prior to the Battle of Gettysburg and we stayed in the exact same room. Signatures on the wall from visitors dating back to the 1830s. And the original Ghost Hunters spent the night here, including Grant in the same room we did and caught video evidence of a picture frame being moved during the night. And our last night — there was no one else staying there. Truly spectacular experience.
Alas, despite my very best efforts, we had no real paranormal activity, but it was heaven on earth to a history nerd like myself. Totally awesome. Can’t recommend it enough if you know anyone with those same interests.
Meanwhile, some of you all were sweating out the final week in the SPFL regular season and in the end, The Greased Lightning were breathing a sigh of relief.
In the Tommy Boy Division, Higgins and the Ladds (10-4) wrapped up their division title with a win and will enjoy a first round bye. The Bright 1s (10-4) kept it interesting, but are relegated to the runner up wild card and overall #3 seed. Greased Lightning (7-7) scored enough points to overtake the the Beasts for the sixth and final wild card slot. The Turf Turtles (6-8), Beasts (5-9), and Greased Lightning (3-11) can now begin their draft planning seasons.
In the Matt Foley Division, Yesterday’s Corn (11-3) absolutely curb stomped the rest of the division, easily winning over Heath’s Heroes (8-6) and the Thunder Monkeys (8-6). As you may have noticed, Yahoo does not allow me to customize our tiebreakers, so I had to manually override their seedings. Therefore, the Heroes 2-0 record vs. the Monkeys during the regular season was enough to clinch the runner up spot and #4 overall seed. The Thunder Monkeys are easily the fifth seed, piling up 1913 points overall. The Piranha Brothers (6-8), along with the Beasts, were the only real challenger for that sixth slot, but ultimately fell 57 overall points shy. The Bitter Midgets (6-8) and Mayberry Moops (4-10) are off to winter hibernation.
So, in round one of the SPFL playoffs, we have (6) Greased Lightning facing off against the (3) Bright 1s and the (5) Thunder Monkeys traveling up the road to take on (4) Heath’s Heroes. (1) Yesterday’s Corn and (2) Higgins and the Ladds get to enjoy a leisurely weekend of praying that key players don’t suffer injuries in meaningless NFL games.
Heroes 133 — Moops 103: The Heroes kept up their momentum, thanks to the Seattle D (29) and Travis Etienne (23), while the Moops were led by Christian Watson (29) and Kimani Vidal (23), but QB was their Achilles heel, with only 1 point from Daniel Jones.
Ladds 166 — Lightning 140: While this a real heavyweight battle of fierce rivals, it was a mere tune up for the Ladds, while the Lightning were in effect facing off with the Beasts and the Piranha Brothers, rather than their actual opponent. Higgins was led by the suddenly unstoppable Jahmyr Gibbs (38) and … the Miami D (26). The Lightning picked up big, important points, led by Puka Nacua (35) and Tee Higgins (27) — wait, I thought you played with the Ladds???
Turtles 130 — Beasts 115: The Turtles closed their season on a positive note, picking up the W, led by Tony Pollard (finally! – 32) and Matthew Stafford (23), while the Mini Moops choked under pressure, getting only 8 points from a disinterested George Pickens and 3 from a jelly legged Zach Ertz.
Corn 161 — Midgets 70: Good lord, what a mismatch. The Corn had a team full of double figure scorers, led by Josh Allen (40) and the Denver D (22), but even more impressively, the five scoring players on their bench put enough points to double beat the Midgets. When I saw the score, I thought Midget management had bailed on this last game, but no, they just sucked. DK Metcalf (21) and Brock Bowers (14) and very little else.
1s 159 — Megatron 90: This one was slightly better, as the Bright 1s were led by JSN (28) and Sam Darnold (23). The big question for the Bright 1s — can Sam Darnold lead a fantasy team to a championship? We shall see. Megatron was led by Lamar Jackson (22) and Jameson Williams (17).
Brothers 107 — Monkeys 93: As I mentioned last week, the Brothers last second wild card push was hamstrung by a 49er bye week, but they still picked up the victory thanks to Michael Wilson (37), who all of us went to school with in some shape, form, or fashion, and Dak (22). The Monkeys were on cruise control, being led by — get this — Zay Flowers (20), Woody Marks (18) and Tyrod Taylor (-0.76 points).
To all of you, who are finished for this season, including myself — thanks for playing, I hope you will all return next season, and counting on our old friend Aaron Adams to assume the mantle of the Beasts next year. To you final six, good luck and enjoy the rush of postseason SPFL football!
The Commish