Hey folks. My apologies for no article last week. I really planned to put one out on Wednesday, but we ended up babysitting all four grands (7 years of age and under) and I didn’t have the energy or the brain capacity afterwards to tackle it. And the two oldest made it a sleepover, so … And then, of course, Thanksgiving day was all about family, food, and … “how ’bout them Cowboys!!”
Also, I know I’m a day early this week, but Mrs. Commish and I are going out of town in the morning for the weekend so I’m trying to get a bit of a head start on things in preparation for tomorrow night, when I hope I can again say, “how ’bout them Cowboys!!”
I saw a poll that on Thanksgiving more Americans were pulling for the Cowboys than the Chiefs. Talk about a culture change!! People must really hate Travis Swift.
Anyway, Dallas wasn’t where the real action was … it was right here in the SPFL! Holy Cow!
Okay, so as best I can tell, here’s how the SPFL playoffs are shaking out:
There are four teams that have officially clinched postseason berths and a fifth, Heath’s Heroes, that have all but officially got that Yahoo Asterisk placed next to their name. But that sixth position? In the words of the immortal Keith Jackson, “whoa, Nellie!”
In the Tommy Boy Division, Higgins and His Ladds will clinch the division title with a win this weekend OR a loss by the Bright 1s. The Bright 1s will clinch the title with a win AND a Higgins/Ladds loss. Both are in the playoffs, but only one will get Week One of the postseason to rest.
In the Matt Foley Division, Yesterday’s Corn are your division title winners and can rest on the throne for the next two weeks. The Thunder Monkeys will claim the second place wild card with a win this weekend OR a loss by Heath’s Heroes. The Heroes need a win AND a Monkeys loss to claim the runner up wild card. Both, in my minds eye, are in the playoffs, based on their total points scored large lead.
What does it matter you ask? Nothing much. The pretend home field advantage in a wild card and the automatic tiebreaker should the unthinkable happen and a wild card game ends in a tie goes to the team with the runner up finish.
Now, that sixth and final wild card slot? It could not get much tighter, folks! As it stands right now … Beauty and the Beasts, last season’s champion, this season’s AWOL Owner, more commonly known as the Moops 2.0 or the Mini Moops, as some are lovingly calling them, hold down that final wild card spot, with 1646.78 total points scored.
HOWEVER … Greased Lightning, with 1646.48 points, are LESS THAN ONE TOTAL POINT BEHIND! Yes, you read that right, less than one point behind. And don’t count them out, the Piranha Brothers (1623.46) are only 23 points back (but do have the unfortunate circumstance of having a CMAC bye week to deal with when they need points) and, yes, the Bitter Midgets (1591.56) could conceivably throw up an ungodly score this weekend and overcome their 55 point deficit.
That is some real fantasy football fun there. Well, except for ye old commish and his Moops, and the Knoxville duo of Turtles and Megatron, which are all ready to book their offseasons in Tahiti.
Moops 111 — Monkeys 109: Jaxson Dart with his 13 MNF points was JUUUUUST enough to give the Moops the victory and dash the division title hopes of the Thunder Monkeys, who were led by Trey McBride (22) and Brock Purdy (17). RJ Harvey (22) and Christian Watson (20) led the Mayberry squad.
Lots of meme captions on this one. My favorite was probably: “looks like he just had a run in with little Macaulay Culkin during Christmas”
Ladds 140 — Turtles 102: The Ladds put up a nice balanced scoring effort, led by twin 21 point outings from Drake Maye and the Miami D, while the Turtles relied on the Super Charger D (22) and Nico Collins (21) for the bulk of their scoring.
Beasts 128 — Megatron 98: The Mini Moops continued their unlikely fight for the wild card, with a resurgent 35 points from AJ Brown and 20 from Jared Goff. Megatron was led by Jameson Williams (27) and Travis Swift, er, Kelce’s 15.
Midgets 139 — Brothers 80: The Midgets eased to victory, thanks to Rashee Rice (29) and their anchor Brock Bowers (22) — as BB goes, so go the BMs. The Piranha Brothers, wrecked by injuries and bye weeks, had Dak Prescott (21) and CMAC (19) and very little else.
Lightning 133 — Bright 1s 107: The Lightning scored some important points and helped their cuz at the same time, led by Jacksonville D (30) and King Henry (18). The Bright 1s were led by Bijan Robinson (32) and, once again, Devon Achane (21).
Just so you don’t think Ye Old Commish has completely lost his skillz…
Heroes 174 — Corn 134: And in the heavyweight slugfest of the weekend, the Heroes triumphed led by that Seattle D (45) and Patrick Mahomes (29), while the Corn continued to rack up points, with 22 points each from Deebo Samuel and D’Andre Swift leading the pack.
NEXT WEEK
While we don’t have any head to head “playoff” type matches, there is still plenty at stake in Week 14:
- Moops/Heroes
- Ladds/Lightning (whoa, nellie!)
- Beasts/Turtles
- Midgets/Corn
- Megatron/1s (spoiler alert??)
- Brothers/Monkeys
Best of luck and enjoy the games and the race down the homestretch!
The Commish