Week 2.25

It’s been one of those weeks in the SPFL home offices. Too much going on at my paid job — 12 hour long day trip to Roanoke on Wednesday with my boss where I had to pretend to be entirely too sociable and charming for my own good, followed by more of the same today as I tour visitors across the campus — to find much time for inspiration for an entertaining blog post. I think adding to my melancholy was the fact that Wednesday would have been my mother’s 85th birthday. She’s been gone for almost two years now … and I still feel like I should be a little kid. Where does time go? I’ve been reminiscing over memories and watching TikToks on the 70s and 80s, riding that nostalgia wave that is so invigorating, yet so defeating. But one particular childhood memory came to mind and I’m going to close my little article with it and I’m very curious to see if it rings a bell for anyone else. 

But first … geez louise the Mayberry Moops suck. I knew I rolled the dice with my quarterback selection in the draft, but I genuinely thought I had a decent little squad. Even thought I’d found a key to getting back into contention by trading for Joe Cool last week and shoring up my QB position. Turf toe? It sounds so benign. Burrow is so fun to watch, it’s just few and far between starts anymore. I foresee an Andrew Luck like career in the offing. The only consolation in Mayberry land? A draft pick of my main mullet man Tyler Warren, who is looking like a keeper to this old GM. 

Higgins 147 — Megatron 139: It’s the wrong show, but Higgins loves it when a plan comes together. Hitching a QB wagon to Drake Maye (27) is suddenly looking better while Megatron is looking like a force to be reckoned with this season despite the L. Amon Ra St Brown (39) and Lamar Jackson (26) led their scoring. 

Bright 1s 150 — Beasts 113: Can we all just agree that Shane has replaced ye old commish as the evil villain in SPFL Land? Geez. Devon Achane (27), Bijan Robinson (22) and a whole bunch of others led the team, while Beauty and her beasts had an uncharacteristic hiccup, starting an injured George Kittle at TE. Saquon Barkley and Jaylen Waddle led the scoring, but a start of her backup TE and Jared Goff at QB would have been enough to hand the Bright 1s a rare loss. 

Rookie RB Drafters heading into Week 1

Vs.

Rookie RB Drafters heading into Week 3

Turtles 140 — Lightning 124: The Turtles bounced back nicely, led by Rome Odunze (31) and the Chargers D (24), while the Lightning relied on Puka Nacua (29) and their Baltimore D (22), but was hamstrung by a weak TE core. 

Heroes 144 — Monkeys 107: The Heroes, also flirting with some villainy, put up another outstanding score, paced by James Cook (30) and Patrick Mahomes (25), while the Monkeys had Jonathan Taylor (32) and not too much else. 

Corn 133 — Brothers 82: The Corn, relying on LA Clipper like salary management, showed that they, too, are a tough out this season, led by JaMarr Chase (36) and Deebo Samuel (25). The Piranha Brothers, posted a real ugly score, but … it seems like it’s probably an anomaly? Brian Thomas (8), Marvin Harrison (4), Aaron Jones (2 – INJ), and Garrett Wilson (9) seem like the core of a good squad with a bad week. CMac (24) looks to be back in form, however. 

Next Week:

• Moops/Brothers – this is probably a London game at 9:30am eastern time.
• Higgins/Beasts
• Midgets/Heroes
• Megatron/Lightning
• Turtles/1s
• Monkeys/Corn

Quick Thoughts:

• Giants/Cowboys — fun game to watch as an NFL fan, not so much as a Cowboy fan. But. But. I bought one piece of Cowboys gear over the summer to wear this fall and you know what it was? A Brandon Aubrey t-shirt. No lie. I drafted him in ALL my other leagues that require kickers. Smooth like Butter. 
• Jags/Bengals — Curses. And I think maybe the Jags hate their coach, too?
• Lions/Bears — Geez. Think Coach Campbell and the Lions wanted to prove a point? Sweet. 
• Broncos/Colts — How can you not root for Indiana Jones? I hope their Cinderella story lasts all season long. 
• Eagles/Chiefs — I don’t know, are these really good teams? For real? This will be the last year of the Tush Push. Write it down.
• Falcons/Vikings — What has two thumbs and called JJ McCarthy the steal of the SPFL Draft? … This guy. 

Speaking of nostalgia…

And finally, back to my nostalgia recall. I’ve loved football since I was a toddler. Truly. And one of my earlier football related memories was in my primary school years, I believe it was on Thursday mornings, my mom would have our local radio station, WNVA, playing on the old console stereo (you know, one of those big heavy pieces of furniture with red velvet over the speakers and a hinged lid revealing a turntable and radio dial within?). I’d be ready for school, just before it was time to leave, but laying right in front of that thing listening to an old guy (at least he sounded like it to me) with a Southern accent giving his college football picks for the weekend. He’d use silly little alliterations and metaphors that this little guy lapped up like cotton candy, revealing his pick for each big game of the weekend by listing … who was going to LOSE the game. Anyone remember Leonard’s Losers? … Anyone else ever listen to Leonard? If you did, that tagline is ringing in your ears right now, “Leonard’s Losah? … (pause) … Ole Miss.” Makes me smile. Of course, I may be the only one that has any idea what I’m talking about and the rest of you are saying, “sure, boomer. Wrap it up please.” 

So I will. With my “Leonard’s Loser” for the NFL games this weekend. For non-betting purposes only please:

• Dolphins (Bills win)
• Bengals (Vikings)
• Jaguars (Texans)
• Titans (Colts)
• Raiders (Commies)
• Rams (Eagles)
• Panthers (Falcons)
• Steelers (Patriots)
• Browns (Packers)
• Jets (Bucs)
• Broncos (Chargers)
• Saints (Seahawks)
• Bears (Cowboys)
• Cardinals (49ers)
• Giants (Chiefs)
• Lions (Ravens)

The Commish