Four weeks into the SPFL season and it’s feeling a little bit like the Ryder Cup I just watched — some steel sacked teams sinking clutch putts and awesome iron shots … and teams like the Moops shanking three woods into the kimchi.
Speaking of the Moops, let’s check in on that roster. First round draft pick Malik Nabers, now with an exciting young QB to fling him the rock? … Gone. Joe Burrow, shrewd trade acquisition to shore up that important QB position? … Gone. And late round league winning RB Trey Benson? … Gone. Hobbled by a meniscus surgery because of a knee injury that no one knew existed until after the game. We don’t need a waiver wire, we need a priest and a jug of holy water.
Watching me flounder is like watching Mr. Moop himself, George Costanza, trying to parallel park: some hope at the start, but now a total disaster and my “friends” just standing around shaking their heads and laughing.
Enjoy it while you can … because next year with Jaxson Dart and Ty Warren, the Moops shall be mighty once again!
When one glances at the top of the standings, there’s some familiar faces — the Bright 1s, rolling it like Shane Lowry on 18 at Bethpage; Yesterday’s Corn, farming wins and paying dues, what more can you want; older brother Heath’s Heroes living up to his name, and long ago champion, and league record holder for different team names, so far this season going by (…checks notes…), Higgins and the Ladds. Oh, the Bitter Midgets are 3-1, too, but they don’t read these posts or put much effort into managing his team, so, no love for them!
Ladds 149 — Moops 131: The Moops put up a respectable overall score despite Malik Nabers going down after only 4 points, but even Drake London (25) and Quentin Johnston (23) did not have enough firepower to overcome the mighty Higgins and his twin 30 point scorers, Omarion Hampton and Bucky Irving.
Heroes 145 — Beasts 136: My fellow winless sufferer, Beauty and the Beasts, ALSO put up a good score but was unfortunate in facing a stalwart of her own. The Heroes enjoyed that Houston D shutout (28) and Patrick Mahomes (27) pacing their way, while the Beasts were led by George Pickens (33) and Emeka Egbuka (22) and suffered yet another AJ Brown disaster outing (2).
Midgets 142 — Megatron 103: The Midgets cruised to victory, with first round pick Ashton Jeanty finally breaking out with 38 points, and surviving the Packers D putting up NEGATIVE 4 against the Cowboys. Ghost was led by Amon Ra St Brown (26) and Kyle Pitts (18).
Monkeys 159 — Lightning 109: Hold on to your hair, a storm seems to be brewing in Thunder Country. Kenneth Gained Well and put up 38 big ones to go with Justin Jefferson’s 22 to ease to victory. The Lightning were led by, as always, Puka Nacua (36) and Bo Nix (27) and are hoping that their waiver wire TE can keep drinking from the fountain of youth and contribute some TE points going forward.
Brothers 160 — Turtles 133: The Piranha Brothers seem to have shifted into a higher gear, putting up the most points of the week, thanks to Dak Prescott (31) laying the pipe to Mighty Micah and the ever present CMac pitching in with 27. The balanced Turtles were led by Josh Jacobs (33) and Rome Odunze (16).
Bright 1s 155 — Corn 138: While the Corn lost this showdown, the gauntlet was thrown down for a season long battle royale. The Bright 1s had Bijan Robinson (29) and, another Cowboy high scorer, Kavontae Turpin (27) to lead their efforts. The Corn fell a little short despite Josh Allen (28) and that Orange Crush D (23).
NEXT WEEK
- Moops vs. Beasts: Only one winless team will remain after this. You can guess who Vegas is betting on… Leonard’s Losah? Mayberrah.
- Ladds vs. Corn: Ooh, a 3-1 vs 3-1 showdown.
- Midgets vs 1s: Ooh, another 3-1 vs 3-1 showdown.
- Megatron vs. Brothers
- Lightning vs. Heroes
- Turtles vs. Monkeys
While it appears the Mayberry SPFL season is all but over, I can fall back into the comfort of showing some interest in playoff baseball this year. Anyone recall my long ago articles about my strange love of the Toronto Blue Jays? Well, here we are into October and who’s the #1 seed in the AL this year? Vlad, Jr. and his merry band of Canadians! If you have no interest in the MLB, send some good vibes north of the border for ye old commish!
Good luck with your lineups and enjoy this weather!
The Commish