It’s my favorite time of the year, but it feels mostly cloudy today. I avoid political discussions on this blog and will continue to do so, but as I texted a friend yesterday, I feel like this country needs a circuit breaker to trip. Right now. It’s getting out of hand and we are letting those on the extremes of both “sides” to build more and more separation and division and we are going down a dangerous road. It’s okay to not have 100% agreement on every topic. Listening and talking is a super power. Let’s come together as Americans and (if you so choose), people of faith, not as absolutists. (And this is not directed at anyone in our league. I love and appreciate all of you and your teams. I know very little of anyone’s political leanings in the SPFL and don’t need to. I just needed to type out my thoughts because I am quite sad. And worried.)
So … let’s move to something much lighter and much more palatable. Thank goodness for Thursday night football.
I won’t start reciting league standings just yet, but I have to hand it to the Yahoo AI-bot. They predicted the Mighty Moops to only have two victories all season and … that looks about right. On the opposing sideline, Yesterday’s Corn got only 4 points from their first round pick Jamarr Chase …. and still put up 161 big ones on the putrid Moops. And as always, the Bright 1s look dangerous again while Heath’s Heroes look especially balanced and formidable. So far.
Yesterday’s Corn 161 — Mayberry Moops 92: Led by Josh Allen’s magical 40 points on Sunday night and Deebo Samuel’s 27 points in his return to the East Coast, the Corn cruised to an easy victory over Mayberry, who was led by Caleb Williams somehow putting up 24 points and rookie TE Tyler Warren chipping in with 15.
Bright 1’s 150 — Higgins and the Ladds 96: In the other ugly beatdown of the week, the 1s eased to victory led by Bijan Robinson (27) and Jayden Daniels (21) while the Ladds relied on Drake Maye (17) and 15 points each from Jahmyr Gibbs and Bucky Irving.
Greased Lightning 132 — Beauty and the Beasts 119: In a much more competitive game, the Lightning picked up a big week one victory thanks to Derrick Henry (34) and Puka Nacua (23) while our defending champion showed that she doesn’t plan to give up her crown quietly, getting big weeks from Emeka Egbuka (23) and Saquon Barkley (20), with an additional 85 points to play with on her bench.
Thunder Monkeys 122 — Bitter Midgets 106: The Monkeys came out on top of this one due to Zay Flowers (28) and the now injured Brock Purdy (19) while the Midgets were led by Jalen Hurts (25) and JK Dobbins (16).
Megatron 127 — TN Turf Turtles 91: In a household battle royale, The Ghost of Megatron signaled that this might be his year, as Lamar Jackson (29) and the Washington Defense (20) paved the way to a well earned W. The Turtles were led by Baker Mayfield (23) and Josh Jacobs (15).
Heath’s Heroes 156 — Piranha Brothers 125: In what was probably the game of the week, the Heroes emerged victorious thank to Patrick Mahomes (26) and James Cook (22) while the Piranha Brothers put up enough points to beat the majority of teams this week … just not this one. Christian McCaffrey (25) and Garrett Wilson (22) led the team in solid scoring overall.
Next Week:
- Moops vs Midgets
- The Ladds vs. Megatron
- Beasts vs. Bright 1s
- Lightning vs. Turtles
- Heroes vs. Monkeys
- Brothers vs. Corn
Quick NFL thoughts from this commissioner’s skybox:
- The Lions could be in for some trouble this season. Not a losing season, but … kinda icky.
- The bloom will be off the rose for the Kyle Shananan faithful after this season. 49ers trending down.
- The Bengals? Gross, man. Come on.
- Falcons? Arrow pointing up.
- Panthers? Really gross, man. I thought yall might had turned a corner late last year.
- Dolphins and Saints. Worst teams I saw. Players hate those coaches.
- Chargers? Arrow pointing up. Harbaugh is no joke.
- Chiefs? Shaky outside of #15.
- Eagles? They win in spite of their coach. I genuinely like Hurts and Barkley, but I can see a postseason meltdown as a possibility. AJ Brown, tick, tick, tick…
- America’s Team? They have a glimmer of hope. First time in forever I saw some teamwork and preparation. Not world beaters, but no gimme either.
SPFL Observations?
- All dues have been paid except for one. We can all guess who.
- First trade of the season has already been executed! I love it! Megatron put Joe Burrow of the Gross Bengals on the trading block and within an hour, he was a Mayberry Moop. Look out world!
Hope yall enjoy this weather and the games. Best of luck, appreciate you all.
The Commish
My dues are in escrow (Venmo). But, the one season I paid on time was a complete disaster – So, The Corn will pay, just not at the detriment of the team. (Kawhi and Clippers style)