Forget Florida and the Presidential Election of 2000. The SPFL has its own controversy this week. The Turtles narrowly escaped with a 128.4 – 128.0 victory over the Lightning, a margin so thin that both franchises immediately dispatched attorneys and accountants to league headquarters.
The Lightning demanded a recount, alleging irregularities in some lineup precincts, in addition to at least three hanging chads. The Turtles were confident in their victory and promptly called on their opponent to respect the will of the SPFL gods and cease and desist from their whining.
Should this come into play later in the season, it may ultimately be decided by the Supreme Court of Yahoo, but please note that any and all legal challenges within the SPFL must be accompanied by a $50 filing fee and a gift certificate to Krispy Kreme.
What a crazy game! As Shane pointed out on the group text, Yahoo saw this one coming, predicting a Turtles victory by only 0.39 points. Amazing. Maybe the game of the year. Certainly the game of the week. Somehow, that Seattle D was only able to claim three single points on Monday night against the Bears Machine, causing consternation in Greasy Land.
Overall, things stayed about the same. The Piranha Brothers (7-1) maintain their lead in the Tommy Boy Division by one game over the 6-2 Bright 1s. The league’s hottest team, the Ladds, picked up their fifth straight win and are at 5-3. The Ladds’ victim last week, the Moops are perfectly ordinary at 4-4, while the Monkeys (2-6) and winless Midgets (0-8) round out the division. Over in the Matt Foley Division, Heath’s Heroes lead at 7-1, while the Blue Oysters are close behind at 6-2. Our points leaders, the Corn (4-4) and the Turtles (3-5) are next, with the Lightning claiming a 3-5 mark as well. The Ghost of Megatron (1-7) is beginning to look at his keeper options for next year.
That being said, let me encourage those of us who are teetering on the edge of elimination, let’s keep up the integrity of the league and keep picking up free agents and filling out a lineup. Someone might be fighting for a wild card and need you to pull an upset.
Talking to your friend who dropped to 2-6 in fantasy https://t.co/yTBnXY6HnL
— Underdog (@Underdog) November 3, 2026
One more thought before I get to the recaps, I hope you all have signed into the Hall of Fame link I sent. It is endlessly fascinating. Just when you think you’ve found it all, I uncover something else. And it even offers stuff for this season’s matchups, too. I am still trying to get access to our first seasons, having spoken to customer service reps at MyFantasy League, Fantasy Sharks, RealTime Sports, and Fanball, all of which claim some sort of ownership to our links. So far, no luck, but I am going to go in and add all of our champions, so people will actually believe the Bitter Midgets once won a title.
“sir we’re up 30 but he still has JSN…” https://t.co/beJuq6w7d0
— Sleeper (@SleeperHQ) November 2, 2026
Turtles 128.4 – Lightning 128.0: Tony Pollard (32) and the Steel Curtain D (27) provided the points needed for the Tennessee victory, while Puka Nacua (25), Trey McBride, and Trevor Lawrence (23 each) almost provided enough for victory for the Lightning. But, again, that vaunted Seattle D (3) had no answer for Ben Johnson on Monday night.
The streak continues …
Corn 146 – Oysters 137: The Corn picked up an impressive victory, perhaps signaling that they’re just gonna make a run up the Matt Foley standings. Tee Higgins (37) and Patrick Mahomes (30) topped the bowl for the Corn, while Bhayshul Tuten (31) and Josh Allen (30) were the pearls in the oysters.
Ladds 139 – Moops 125: The Ladds kept up their winning ways, thanks to Drake Maye, again (29) and the Commies D (23). The Moops were led by Jaylen Warren (23) and Jonah Coleman (21). Somehow, Caleb Williams looked like the best QB in the league on Monday night, but only tallied 15 points for Mayberry.
confidently picking Omarion Hampton on draft day https://t.co/kNmB8DRABf
— kev mahserejian (@RotoSurgeon) October 29, 2026
Yours truly…
1s 135 – Midgets 112: If only the Midgets could find a RB on the waiver wire (eye roll). The 1s cruised to victory thanks to Jahmyr Gibbs (27) and Josh Jacobs (25) while the Bitter Ones had Brock Bowers (31) and Jordan Love (25).
I would’ve believed a reported sighting of Bigfoot and Tupac playing doubles badminton against D.B. Cooper and Jim Morrison before I believed an NFL team would win a game this century without completing a pass. My entire reality has been shaken.
— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) November 1, 2026
Brothers 173 – Monkeys 114: In a nearly abusive win, the Brothers ran up the score thanks to the Jags D (31) and Harold Fannin, Jr. (29). The Monkeys’ leading scorers were JaMarr Chase (31) and Bucky Irving (24).
Falcons fans: “Tua Tagovailoa is the worst quarterback in the NFL”
Michael Penix Jr. https://t.co/4KApAkhmzQ
— Hater Report (@HaterReport) November 1, 2026
Heroes 201- Megatron 68: In what was an abusive win, the Heroes went overboard. Joe Burrow (47) and DeAndre Swift (30) would have been enough on their own to defeat the Ghost, who had Braelon Allen (25), the Vikings D (12) and little else. Side note, couldn’t Swift have caught a couple of those touchdowns on Monday night? Wouldn’t have killed him.
Next Week:
- Moops/Heroes
- Ladds/Corn
- Midgets/Turtles
- Ghost/Monkeys
- Lightning/1s
- Brothers/Oysters
Imagine telling someone that in Week 9 these QBs would be starting:
Cardinals – Gardner Minshew
Seahawks – Drew Lock
Giants – JJ McCarthy
Eagles – Joe Milton
Browns – Shedeur Sanders
Ravens – Joe Fagnano— SleeperNFL (@SleeperNFL) November 4, 2026
Best of luck and enjoy the games. As much as you can, anyway, with some of these starting QBs. Oh, and did you see the one bright spot in the Cowboys game last week? A touchdown by Wise County’s own, James Mitchell.
The Commish