There are certain traditions that tell me fall has officially arrived.
The mornings are just a little bit cooler. Christmas supplies pop up in Cracker Barrel and Walmart. Pumpkin spice starts showing up in everything from coffee creamer to Old Spice man soap.
And us Cowboys fans continue questioning every decision that led me to this point in my life.
Yet another season over before it even starts.
Some of us feel the same way about our fantasy teams. Research, mock drafts, podcasts, rankings, spreadsheets led us to convince ourselves that we’d finally cracked the code to climb back into fantasy relevance.
All completely thrown out the window after one week of football. Yes, the Moops may be 1-0, but they were fortunate to be playing the Ladds because their pathetic score would have only beat two teams in the league. Sigh.
Welcome back, fall. Fantasy football season is sadly, officially underway.
I’m kidding, of course. We all know, Week One can be a mirage. Heck, the Seahawks lost in week one last year and ended up with the most impractical, gaudy Super Bowl rings of all time. So, … hang in there Dak!
Football is back https://t.co/Ok1jfkrFUL
— Alex (@AlexPelag) September 13, 2026
And this truly is the absolute best time of year for me, although I could go for some cooler temps TBH, especially with a heat pump in the league offices refusing to heal itself.
Let’s see, any league business? All dues are paid in full, thank you! The first waiver wire went smoothly, I think, aside from my panic acquisition of a Miami Dolphins wideout. And the league text chain is working and seeing a little action, I love that.
Oysters 140 – Corn 133: The Oysters lived up to their draft billing and picked up a week one victory in their return to the league over the always testy Corn. Josh Allen (40) and Bijan Robinson (33) led the Blue Crew, while JSN (28) and Brock Purdy (25) led the Corn’s efforts.
Brothers 177 – Monkeys 118: Whoa. The Piranha Brothers’ new draft strategy of loading up on RBs instead of WRs, paid off handsomely with Ken Walker (38) and Jonathan Taylor (28) spearheading a massive week one tally. The Monkeys, as they often do, ease their way into the season, falling short despite Bucky Irving (22) and Nico Collins (21) nice games.
Turtles 179 – Lightning 158: The game of the week saw the Turf Turtles put a whoopin’ on the graveyard whistlin’ Lightning, led by Old Man Henry (37) and Jalen Hurts (30). The Lightning could have beat a lot of teams this week … except their opponent. Trevor Lawrence (30) and Trey McBride (29) topped their roster.
Heroes 149 – Megatron 115: The Heroes picked up a nice week one W, following the lead of D’Andre Swift (34) and ARSB (28) while Megatron showed some life thanks to Ashton Jeanty (35) and Lamar Jackson (29).
Bright 1s 177 – Midgets 103: Avert your eyes. This one was ugly. The always dominant, yet always poor mouthing 1’s romped to victory thanks to overall #1 pick Jahmyr Gibbs (37) and Christian Watson (34). The Midgets somehow in week one found themselves without two healthy RBs and posted a 0 at a critical skill position. Justin Jefferson (31) and Jared Goff (18) did their best.
Moops 110 – Ladds 98: And in the equivalent of the Browns and Titans facing off, the Moops somehow picked up a win, led by Jaxson Dart (30) facing a peanut league defense and DJ Moore (23). The Ladds were undone by Colston Loveland somehow posting a goose egg despite the Bears putting up a fifty burger. Jayden Daniels and Chase Brown each added 20 points to the Higgins’ total.
Colston Loveland fantasy mangers watching the Bears put up 59: https://t.co/a6mKIqyt7G
— SleeperNFL (@SleeperNFL) September 13, 2026
NEXT WEEK
- Moops/1’s: Uncle.
- Ladds/Brothers: Also uncle?
- Midgets/Monkeys: Could be good if the Midgets can find a second RB.
- Megatron/Oysters: Early season royale.
- Lightning/Heroes: Tasty little matchup here.
- Turtles/Corn: Not too bad here either.
Good luck everyone, gotta run and meet the heat pump repairman!
The Commish